A few weeks ago I talked Dan into going with me to Indiana. For 12 pieces of furniture. With the truck AND trailer. If you know Dan at all, you know this junkin life is not for him. I often kid that he would rather have a root canal, without drugs, before he would choose to go junkin!!
So, after much convincing we set off. Our first stop was a house that was for sale. I had been there about 10 days before. Brown, regular ranch. Nothing different or unique about it. So when I saw a brown ranch for sale I pointed it out. Dan said the Garmin said we had a little way yet. Nope, I was sure it was the house!
Dan backed the truck and trailer in. Off to the front door I went to get it unlocked. Except the key wouldn’t work. And I didn’t remember the front door having a screen door?? But I went in and out of the garage – so maybe I just needed to wiggle the screen door open and the key would work on the main door.
At this point Dan had the trailer all open and ready to load. So he tried the key. At which point he started telling me we had the wrong house. Off to the truck to check. So, yeah, okay, totally wrong address!! Hahahahaha. At which point Dan started pointing out the cops would be called and we would be charged with breaking and entering.
And he added…..all for your crap! We are going to be arrested for your crap!!
There is no way we could be charged with that. We had not broken anything nor had we entered!! Dan still cannot believe the neighborhood watch group didn’t call the cops. So back in the truck and off to the correct house. The key immediately worked there ;0 McCoy and I got out of the truck. McCoy was on his leash and staying on his leash. At which point Dan started telling me the house had rat poisoning, bugs, germs, rodents…you name it…..and McCoy would probably die from eating something…..all for my crap!!! (Nothing was ingested by McCoy and he is alive and wonderful!)
Now, I should tell you I am still laughing like crazy about the fact that we were at the wrong house. AND that when we got to the correct house Dan said he was staying in the truck until the door opened. AND if the cops showed up he was going to leave me. Hahahahahaha.
Then we arrived at the second house. Nine pieces of furniture waited for us. Three large dressers were on the third floor (this explains why I do not need a gym membership!). We decided to bring all the pieces to a cement patio and then decide how to load the truck and trailer.
Finally, all the pieces are on the patio and we are discussing loading when a…..well, shall I say….alcohol smelling gentleman comes over. He also had a very large slurpy cup that he kept taking long straw draws!! As I am locking up the house he starts talking with Dan.
Now, you should know Dan is much nicer than me. I kept loading, measuring, working and locking up the house. Every so often this guy would share something with Dan that made me snicker. Dan kept nodding his head and trying to be polite. Finally this guy heads home, we lock up the trailer and climb in the truck.
At which point Dan tells me he should not be driving with the fumes he just inhaled. Hahahahaha. And then tells me how this guy went on and one about what a “damn shame” it was that this lady passed away. Finally after several of those comments Dan asked what happened. The guy said she was 87 years old and one night she went to bed and did not wake up in the morning. Ending with a “damn shame.” At which point Dan told me…..that’s how I want to die. That is not a “damn shame!”
All this for your crap!!!!
I think I laughed all the way home. We had the wrong house, had an interesting neighbor, hauled heavy furniture down three flights of stairs…..and had a great day getting my crap! ;0
Part of what makes this funny is Dan’s dry sense of humor. I’m still laughing and repeating the story…two weeks later. And that is not a “damn shame!” You just cannot make this stuff up!